S E T Y O U R S E L F F R E E

The truth will set you free
And enslave all those that could never see
See that you were just trying to be
A daughter
A sister
An escapee
They say ignorance is bliss
But with that, you have to be dismissed
Leaving you in a destitute, isolated, bottomless pit
Trapped underneath the weight of your feelings
Drowning each day by the pressure to keep concealing
Concealing
Never revealing
Your inability to start the healing

The truth will set you free
But you don’t think that bliss will ever really be
A way of living
Giving yourself no space to negate
Your mind’s gates opening up to a bitter taste
Taking you back to that place
To that place barer than space
Too much space
Too much to equate to the fate of long-lived days

The truth will set you free
But you have to let it be
Don’t hide behind the lies
That you have to disguise the hurt
That’s inside your eyes
Because, honey
Your eyes
They tell a story that needs to be heard
So tell us your words
Do not slur them but shout them to the atmosphere
Please, do not fear as I once feared

It took me over a decade to tell my story
And ever since then, I’ve been taking inventory
Of all the times I tried
Tried to deny
That what everyone else was telling me
Simply did not apply
I was different
See, I made a commitment
To never let my mother know
And never let any scars show
Yeah, I made a commitment
But what I didn’t realize
Was that with that commitment
Came a compromise
To let him get away
Flying like a beautiful Blue Jay
He was set free
Then I set sail and got lost at sea

It took me over a decade to break that commitment
And so much time was lost due to my fight for resistance
The comfort of hiding had me hooked
And believe me when I tell you that I shook
Telling my story like I was reading it from a book
Taking everything in me to just get it all out
Trying to answer how everything came about

Starting with just page one:

I was seven when all of this was said and done
When I first experienced lust
When I was too naive to feel disgust
I was seven when all of this was said and done
Ever since then I’ve been searching for trust
In anyone who would never make me feel that kind of lust
Anyone that could help me just bust
Through my walls
Leaving nothing but unrecognizable floating dust
Yeah, I was seven when all of this was said and done

Next page

I never understood why I couldn’t do all that other girls could do
That feeling, deeply rooted
Leaving my soul completely polluted
Always taking me back
Back to all the panic attacks
Leaving me aghast
Searching for peace at last
Secretly hung up on the past
Yeah, I never understood why I couldn’t do all that other girls could do

Next page

My first kiss
At seventeen, it was full of that ignorant bliss
Okay, let’s be real…
It was awkward as shit
But when I got home
And I was left all alone
A veil of shame was thrown
Over my short bones
The source unknown
Stuck in my head while I laid in bed
My heart endlessly bled
Bled into my soul
Internally creating a black hole
Nothing was left of me but that one feeling

Next page

18

Next page

19

Next page

20

All it takes is a split second
To floor the gas or slam on the breaks
Concerned I’d be consumed in heartache
I fought back my natural response
And I told my mom with nonchalance
Wait. Go back for a second
I told my mom with nonchalance

It was there that I broke my commitment
Admitting
That what had happened
Wasn’t just a figment
Of my imagination
The sensation was real
Everything starting with
His domination
And my allegations
My own adaptations leading me to say
It was a one-time offense
Given without my consent
Far before my adolescence

At this point I was soaring through the lanes
Flooring the gas without pulling back the reins
And that’s when it happened
When I became the Captain
Of that ship that was once lost
When I said “Screw all the opportunity costs”
And I admitted that one day that line had been crossed

Next page

The aftermath was unpredictable
The look on their faces
Unforgettable
It was now time for my family to start their own healing
My mother had trouble sleeping
Terrible dreaming waking her in heavy breathing
My siblings consumed in wrath
Thinking this path
Could only be chosen by those psychopaths
With time, feelings calmed
But nothing has been completely resolved

What lingers though
Is this unspoken notion
That that ocean once full of atrocious commotion
Has been broken

With my cover blown, please listen
Do not become smitten with contentment
Break your commitments
Because after all
What is it they say again?
The truth will set you free?
Well let it be and set yourself free

*Featured image can be found and purchased here.

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